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***
Merry Christmas! As you know, the holiday season is always a hectic time of year. People are hurrying to buy gifts, put up lights, cook meals, visit family, go to pageants, perform charity work, you name it. Knowing this, I had planned to get everything done early so I could relax as much as possible. But someone had other ideas.
A few weeks ago, I gave a workshop on retirement planning. While speaking, I noticed a reindeer in the audience. I looked at it briefly before moving on with my presentation. Then I looked back, stunned. What was a reindeer doing at my workshop?
Next to the reindeer was a very small person, scribbling away with quills on a long sheet of old parchment. Eventually, he raised his hand. “If we wanted to set an appointment with you, would you be willing to come to our home?”
“Certainly,” I replied. He nodded and kept writing. I finished my presentation and thought no more of it. If a reindeer wanted to retire, who was I to tell it no?
The next day, I had a walk-in at my office. It was the reindeer and the little person. He was dressed all in red and green, with a nightcap on his head and very pointy shoes on his feet. “I was referred to you by one of your clients,” he said. “I believe you can help us.”
“You know my clients?” I asked, surprised.
“Well, sort of,” they replied. “Every year, all your clients make my boss’s Nice List.”
“Nice List?” I repeated. I looked again at my strange guest. Suddenly it all became clear; his clothing; his shoes; his reindeer. “You’re an elf, one of Santa’s little helpers!”
“Yes, and you’re a financial advisor,” he replied. “Which is just what the Big Boss needs. I need to get you to the North Pole right away.”
“How do we get there?”
The elf laughed and jerked his thumb at the reindeer. “Why do you think I brought Blitzen?”
***
After a quick, cold flight above the clouds, I found myself at the North Pole. My elf companion took me inside a charming building made of something that looked suspiciously like gingerbread, with candy cane beams on the roof and jelly beans for shingles. Inside, I found a scene I will never forget.
It was a huge workshop filled with elves making toys. At first, everyone seemed to be busy and productive, but as I looked closer, I noticed some elves looked unhappy, staring at pictures of tropical islands taped onto the wall. One of them sighed loudly.
Suddenly, I felt a heavy, warm hand on my shoulder. I turned and stared up into the red, kris-kringly face of Santa Claus.
“I’m glad you’re here,” he boomed. “I need help with retirement.”
“You’re retiring?” I said, horrified.
“Not me,” he said, “but some of my elves. A few of my old-timers have decided they want to see the world, get a tan, or work on their short game. But they don’t know the first thing about retirement, so they don’t think they can ever retire! Now they’re so depressed, it’s starting to show in their work. Our dolls don’t smile! Our music boxes all play melancholy tunes! Our rocking horses just sit there! It’s a disaster. Quality control has always been our first concern, and if I can’t get these toys up to snuff, we may have to cancel Christmas.”
“Cancel Christmas?” I yelped. “Say no more. Do you have a conference room I can use? This might take a while.”
I worked all through the night, meeting with each elf individually. We reviewed their goals and took inventory of their assets. We went over some of the most common retirement mistakes and how to avoid them. They learned how to maintain liquidity, protect themselves against inflation, secure income after they left the workshop, and maximize their Social Security. (Yes, elves are eligible.) We even discussed their insurance and estate planning needs. By the time I was done, each and every elf had a retirement plan in place. They knew where they wanted to go and how to get there. They felt a renewed confidence in their ability to retire.
“Ho, ho, ho!” Santa laughed. “Well done! Now Christmas can continue.”
“My pleasure, Santa,” I said. “By the way, if you know anyone else who needs help with their retirement planning, please think of me.”
“Well,” said Santa, “now that you mention it, there’s this fellow they call the Grinch. The poor chap made some bad investment decisions a few years ago and he’s been sour about it ever since.”
***
The next day I returned home and decided to write you this letter. Because of you, Christmas won’t be canceled! If you weren’t on Santa’s Nice List, I might never have had the chance to assist Santa’s little helpers with their retirement.
On behalf of all of us here at Wealth Advisors, I hope you have a Merry Christmas! And please let me know how I can help you with your retirement needs in the New Year.
